joy in the mundane

I studied this topic recently to present at a motherhood conference; dropping my outline here!

What does the world say?

- We need more: we need a vacation, we need to consume, we need a break from the mundane.

- There is no redemption - all or nothing mentality that if you mess up, you’ve failed forever.

- Daily routines are neutral at best, doesn’t matter at worst.

What does the Bible say? We are called to be:

SATISFIED with what we have: I am the Lord your God, you shall have no other gods before me. We will struggle with joy if we are looking to other gods for our fulfillment. So many of the commandments speak against our desire for MORE.

Psalm 23 – the Lord is my Shepherd, I have all that I need. Psalm 90:14 – satisfied by the mercy of the Lord, so we can find contentment in whatever circumstances we find ourselves. If you keep my commandments, you will abide in my love, just as I have kept my Father's commandments and abide in his love. 11 These things I have spoken to you, that my joy may be in you, and that your joy may be full. John 15:10-11.
“In a world that pushes us toward bigger, better, more costly and refined, seeing the humble as radiant is an act of holy resistance. Jesus dealt in seeds and sails. He spoke through dust and sermonized in spit. Set against a backdrop of faithlessness, lawlessness, and low-grade despair, he brought faith and healing through the overlooked, unspectacular elements of everyday life.” (The Ministry of Ordinary Places, 23)

STRENGTHENED because there IS redemption: John 16:22-24 So also you have sorrow now, but I will see you again, and your hearts will rejoice, and no one will take your joy from you. 23 In that day you will ask nothing of me. Truly, truly, I say to you, whatever you ask of the Father in my name, he will give it to you. 24 Until now you have asked nothing in my name. Ask, and you will receive, that your joy may be full.

Nehemiah – the joy of the Lord is my strength.
Brother Lawrence mentioned by multiple of my friends as we discussed this topic: “When he has finished his tasks for the day, he reviews how he has discharged his duties. (So he’s thinking over his day…) If he finds he has performed them well, he gives thanks to God. If he realizes he has performed poorly, he asks for pardon (he does not beat himself up, or declare himself a bad parent, or begin to believe his chance at joy is gone forever.) Having done so, and without being discouraged, he sets his mind right again. And he thereafter continues in his exercise of the presence of God as though he had never deviated from it.” He says, “For me, the time of work does not differ from the time of prayer. Even in the noise and clutter of my kitchen (he was the cook at his monastery), when several persons are at the same time calling for different things – I possess God in as great tranquility as if I were upon my knees at holy communion… Let [us] think of God as much as we can, “maintain a high view of the providence and power of God.”

SETTLED in our calling as mothers - we need to acknowledge primarily to ourselves that what we are doing has eternal impact. Daily DOES matter.

260,000 lives impacted if Gods faithfulness extends to the 10th generation (avg of 3-4 children)
“The spiritual discipline of home is a practice in the glory of God: a glory made visible by humble hands in humble places.” (from Every Home a Foundation by Phylicia Masonheimer)
Ecclesiastes 3:12-13 I perceived that there is nothing better for them than to be joyful and to do good as long as they live; 13 also that everyone should eat and drink and take pleasure in all his toil—this is God's gift to man.
We need to be making a big deal about the small things - reveling in the small things. They are not small things. When we think of things as small or mundane, it is probably because we are underestimating their significance — raising children, marriage and sex specifically, etc.
Habits of the Household by Justin Wherley pg. 57-59 – Family Dinner through the Practical lens, Family Dinner through the Liturgical lens. We cannot underestimate the significance of something like sitting around to dinner together as a family. “This book began with a claim that the most significant thing about any household is what is considered normal. Why is this so important? Because the normal is what shapes us the most, though we notice it the least. It is precisely the unremarkable nature of the normal that gives it such remarkable power. All of our unspoken values get hidden under the invisibility cloak of the ordinary. We think of our day-to-day routines as neutral simply because we see them so often… Understanding that family habits are family liturgies clarifies where the work of worship and spiritual formation are actually happening – in the normal. […] To me, this is freeing. I used to think I needed get the day-to-day stuff done and out of the way to get to the real spiritual work of parenting – some special conversation where the magic would actually happen. But now I see that the magic of God’s grace abounds in the places I need it most: in the normal routines.”

My personal testimony on this topic:

I came into motherhood during the time that Ann Voskamp’s One Thousand Gifts was just being published. In the book, Ann recounts her journey to count one thousand gifts in her everyday life, which forced her to look around and see things differently. I remember her in the book giving thanks for the beauty of the bubbles in the sink. Since I read that I cannot see a sink full of dirty dishes without thinking of the bubbles – and it makes you think about doing dishes very differently.

“God’s provision, and our reliance upon it, brings contentment and restores our joy.” (p. 32 Every Home a Foundation)

Seeing – noticing – acknowledging – finding satisfaction in what God has given – giving Him ALL the credit for EVERYTHING. I personally have a very high view of God and yet also a very intimate view of God – I see Him as very perfect, very holy, and at the same time very approachable and very present in my everyday. I believe He is involved in everything – and that He cares about the supper I’m putting on the table and wants me to delight in His provision of that. I cultivate a culture of creativity in our household because I believe God is deeply honored when we imitate Him in creating beauty of what He has given. This can sound intimidating or overwhelming to those of you who do not naturally think of yourselves as creative. But we have to remember that ANYTIME we are producing, we are producing out out of what God has given – not out of our own strength. I am joyful when I realize what God is doing in and through me – when I SEE Him and His provision, and that is what strengthens me.

During COVID we began something called The Friday Challenge that we still use and adapt to this day. Part of the challenge was to find ten beautiful things to take pictures of. My children found all kinds of beauty in all kinds of things - things that I would not have considered beautiful but they saw the beauty. That is exactly what God calls us to do.

Advice to Moms of all ages:

Some practical things that I do personally:

First – acknowledge the tension and give yourself the grace to know that in this world this will always be a battle. In Swallows and Amazons, one of the characters, Titty, finds herself alone on the island and finds it a bit disconcerting when she realizes that nothing would be done unless she did it. We live and breathe “unfinished work” as mothers – in so many ways and forms. BUT – still decorate your unfinished house. Still work into this tension. Do not wait for all to be set right – that is not in this lifetime.
Abundance vs scarcity mentality – There are times when I am coming down the road toward home and see all the lights on in our big old farmhouse. I know that in that moment all that Grant can think about is the amount of energy we are losing – but it is such a beautiful thing to look in from the outside and see life happening in warm light. One time I was coming in from the chicken coop and I was super cold and it was completely pitch dark, probably one of the darkest points of the winter – but all of my children were in the kitchen stirring soup, standing on chairs, etc. and all I could think about is how beautiful it was. I could have focused on the cold. It’s a choice to focus on the beauty.
Making normal everyday things beautiful – intentionally buying things that are both functional and beautiful. I have a friend who often talks about the beauty in old churches and cathedrals.
Commit to serving/reach out to someone and offer something - produce, rather than consume.
Writing – considering the whole story, the whole trajectory – will almost always help us better see the big picture and produce gratitude.
Surround myself with examples of things that glamorize the mundane: artist Lore Pemberton
Delight in all provision – expected and unexpected. Count it all as a gift. Count all gifts.
I thank God sometimes for something as simple as presence of mind. “Thanks God, for helping me to remember that.” I find so much delight in the fact that He knows I would have forgotten, and so He reminded me. If you are crediting yourself whenever you remember something, that means you also have to blame yourself when you forget something – and that’s the ultimate joy-zapper.
Recommended reading: Glory in the Ordinary, Every Home a Foundation, One Thousand Gifts, The Ministry of Ordinary Places, The Practice of the Presence of God, Missional Motherhood, Adorning the Dark, The Ministry of Ordinary Places
SEE THINGS DIFFERENTLY - In my cousin Tiffany’s photography, I feel like so much of the creation of her beauty is about angles. She once posted a picture of a cornfield from an angle I had never considered and it made it so much more beautiful. Switching up our angle to see things differently is critical to finding joy in the mundane.

It is always all about the angles – all about changing your mindset. “Six Mindset Shifts to Take Pleasure in Your Toil” from Every Home a Foundation by Phylicia Masonheimer:

I am not unseen, I am seen. “What feels unseen and unimportant is seen and valued. If all work matters to God and God Himself is a worker, it follows that the simple tasks of our everyday life matter to Him. His glory – His goodness – is displayed, sometimes imperceptibly, in the movements of our work.
I am not just cleaning, I am creating. “What if we saw these repetitive, uninteresting tasks as opportunities to create something beautiful? To make something new?... Disorder to order. Chaos to beauty.”
I am not just working, I am serving. “By seeing our home rhythms as an act of service, we move outside ourselves to a selfless point of view.”
My work is not pointless, my work is valuable. “Maybe no one is checking your work to see that you did, in fact, vacuum behind the toilet or make the living room comfortable for guests… but God saw. God sees our effort, our diligence, and our attention to detail. He sees us stewarding His good gifts and sharing them with others. He sees and values what we do. To me, that’s a reward in itself.”
My work is not boring, it is building. “The comfort of waking up to a calm home, unimpeded by stacks of dishes and things I’ve put off to morning, is made available to me by building a habit of diligence. In other words: I bless my future self by doing boring things" (This is the mindset I personally use to keep up with exercise routines). "Each time I choose to do the unglamorous, faithful task God entrusted to me, I choose a future blessing."
This life is not repetitive, it is restorative. “A life, while full of necessary tasks, brings joy, clarity, beauty, and purpose through those tasks. Instead of escaping your life to find depth, you find it every day, three times a day, at the kitchen sink. Instead of wishing for the next vacation and hiding from the looming to-dos, your everyday routines become a time of sacred goodness, an experience of God’s heart. The Shepherd of our souls meets us in the middle of the life we’re given, granting us green pastures and still waters in the midst of mundanity. He restores our souls in the middle places, not just the mountaintops (Side note – many times men in the Bible had to go to mountains to see God, while women were met in the midst of their ordinary circumstances.)… When we crave rest and wish for more than what we have, we’re offered restoration, not by escaping life but by truly living it.

Brother Lawrence again: “I have given up all forms of mechanical devotions and prescribed prayers (other than those required by my community). Instead, I make it my practice to only live continually in His holy presence. I maintain this state through a focused attention on God, along with a general fond regard of Him. I refer to this as practicing the presence of God. Or perhaps, to speak better, it is a continual, silent, and secret conversation of the soul with God. This constant communion with God often produces great joy and rapture, both inwardly and at times outwardly.”

RECOGNIZE PROVIDENCE – see God next to you, in you, through you. This is not an additional item on the to-do list. Simply - it is seeing God in what you are already doing, acknowledging that – giving thanks for it and letting Him come alongside you in it! It is mindset shift and not a task.

I believe that I shall look upon the goodness of the LORD in the land of the living! Psalm 27:13