his mercy is more

It's been playing on repeat at our house:

What love could remember no wrongs we have done

Omniscient, all knowing, He counts not their sum

Thrown into a sea without bottom or shore

Our sins they are many, His mercy is more

What patience would wait as we constantly roam

What Father, so tender, is calling us home

He welcomes the weakest, the vilest, the poor

Our sins they are many, His mercy is more

Praise the Lord, His mercy is more

Stronger than darkness, new every morn

Our sins they are many, His mercy is more

What riches of kindness He lavished on us

His blood was the payment, His life was the cost

We stood 'neath a debt we could never afford

Our sins they are many, His mercy is more

Praise the Lord, His mercy is more

Stronger than darkness, new every morn

Our sins they are many, His mercy is more

Praise the Lord, His mercy is more

Stronger than darkness, new every morn

Our sins they are many, His mercy is more

Our sins they are many, His mercy is more

I've always known that the Resurrection turned despair into hope. It's something I've been taught from very young... just a fact of life. Christ arose, and because of that, I can go to heaven when I die. It's simple truth... but maybe it's too simple. It's not been until even just this past year, in my life, where I have felt God tugging on my heart to acknowledge the impact of the Resurrection for what it is... a complete, full, unreserved, un-repayable gift that indeed, enables me to go to heaven... but also enables me to life joy-filled on this side of heaven. Because my sins and my debt I could never afford have been cast into a sea without bottom or shore, I can, by the grace of God, live as an overcomer in this life.

When I am tempted to start Monday with despair, because the weeks stretch endlessly on, questions remain unanswered, needs remain great, and the world remains torn... I can run to the cross, where the grace has already been poured out and the burden has already been lifted. I can live with hope, not that war would end and the world would feel peaceful, but that peace could reign in my heart in spite of my circumstances.

When I am tempted to revert to the impatient tone I use with my children when they have again trespassed in ways that they've already been taught not to... I can praise the Lord that hope for them is never lost. They are within the reach of God always, and He is accessible to me through prayer... and so no matter the circumstances, there is a patiently waiting Father... waiting for me, and waiting for them... to reach out, to see our need for Him, and to be welcomed home, into the safety of grace again.

When I am discouraged over a relationship that never seems to resolve, I can remember that the blood of Jesus was shed for both my sins and hers. I have so much to learn, and there is so much growth that needs to happen in me. Every morning, there is new mercy to see myself as I really am, to ask the Lord for help and a deeper love for those around me, and to walk humbly.

Grace is something that we walk in, not something that we receive once and have to ration out over the remainder of our years. But walking in grace, following Jesus day-by-day, does require me to ration my steps... to slow or speed up my steps in order to match pace with God's. Sometimes it will seem like He is answering my prayers too slowly. I just studied Hannah's story in the Bible, and I imagine she felt like she was dragging her feet unimaginably slow in order to meet God's pace. I've also felt countless times in my own life where it seemed God was asking so much in such a short amount of time and my feet stumbled a bit like a small child's would as they struggled to keep up. In those times, when failure looms on my emotional horizon and I'm tempted to quit because of lack of my ability to be good enough on my own, I'm so unimaginably grateful for God's mercy.

God is both merciful (withholding from me the bad that I deserve) and gracious (giving me the good that I don't deserve), and entirely trustworthy. Embracing both is the only way for me to find rest.